Some 123 million credit union members around the world will celebrate International Credit Union Day on Thursday, October 20, 2005. As they do, they will celebrate the unique service their credit unions provide and the many ways their families and communities have benefited from the credit union difference.

Credit unions are for everyone, but the law places some limits on the people they may serve. A credit union’s charter defines its “field of membership,” which could be an employer, church, school, or community. Anyone working for an employer that sponsors a credit union is eligible to join that credit union.
Here’s how to find a credit union to join:

• Ask your boss. Your company may sponsor a credit union or may be a sponsor group that has access to a credit union. Many employers will directly deposit your paycheck to the credit union.

• Poll your family. Does your spouse’s employer sponsor a credit union? Most credit unions invite family members to join. Each credit union, however, may define “family” differently. At some, only your immediate family members are eligible. At other credit unions, family may include extended family members, such as grandparents, cousins, uncles, and aunts.

• Quiz the neighbors. Some credit unions have a “community” field of membership, serving a region defined by geography rather than by employment or some other association. Ask friends in the community if they know of a credit union you may join.

• Read the yellow pages. Some credit unions rarely advertise, so you might not know about them unless you look them up. A yellow pages display ad may state a credit union’s field of membership. If not, at least you’ll know what number to call to ask about membership eligibility.

• Check online at www.CUSF.org for Credit Unions in South Florida.

• Call the Credit Union National Association at 800-358-5710. You’ll hear an electronic message that includes the name and telephone number of a person in your state who can help you find a credit union.

Nicole Soltau
President
Credit Unions of South Florida
http://www.cusf.org

If you have tried every diet under the sun, then you know how frustrating it is to lose the pounds. One lady doctor is revealing a powerful way to lose weight fast and safely. I mainly research herbal products to see how effective they are and she has information that comes from a great deal of testing. Her new breakthrough secret is all you now need in order to forever shed countless pounds, stay healthy, and add many years to your life!

Are you loaded with toxins and unwanted fecal matter? If your tired and run down, you may need a good internal cleanse. Sexy Hollywood starlet Alicia Silverstone bares all in PETA’s first-ever naked vegetarian testimonial public service announcement.

Alicia Silverstone makes a very good point about eating your veggies! I personally eat meat (chicken & fish) sparingly and I have more energy as a result. The more fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, and grains I consume, the better I feel. The first time I did an internal cleansing it was not easy. I had headaches and they were from the toxins being eliminated from my body. I noticed after a good cleansing and eating more leafy greens in my diet, I could think more clearly. I wasn’t walking around like a zombie anymore! If you want delicious organic salmon, then Vital Choice is the best choice!

“In terms of numbers, there are more parasitic infections acquired in this country than in Africa.” ~ Dr. Frank Nova, Chief of the Laboratory for Parasitic Diseases of the National Institute of Health.

It takes time to convert over to a healthier way of eating and living. Eating more fresh organic foods may make you feel like a brand new person and people will notice a glow about you. If you are serious about internal cleansing and losing weight, then your reading the right article.

One lady doctor has found a powerful method to help get unwanted toxins and fecal matter out of your body, thereby allowing your body to absorb “ALL” the nutrients from fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds and grains. Also, if your using spirulina or other supplements (herbs, vitamins, minerals), the absorption may be increased!

Each person feels differently as they cleanse. Some feel very energetic and more alive while cleansing; others, not until after they have completed their cleanse. It is also possible to alternate between feeling great and not so great. There may be occasional discomforts called “cleansing reactions”.

“Autopsies often reveal colons that are plugged up to 80 percent with waste material.” ~ Vegetarian Times, March, 1998

Over ten years ago I purchased every book by Bernard Jensen I could get my hands on, because this man was a master of internal cleansing. Now, there is a lady doctor who has dug deep for some powerful weight loss secrets. She did a lot of testing and through her own experience, as well as her patients, noticed amazing results! You deserve to be aware of this information because it just may save your life. I know those are some strong words, but if your serious about losing weight and getting healthy, it just does not get any better.

The mental and emotional benefits of internal cleansing may be: Improved mental clarity, heightened awareness, able to focus and concentrate better, emotional stability, inner harmony, powerful sense of well-being, and more of a positive outlook on life. I noticed when I was full of toxins and my body’s elimination channels were clogged, I was miserable. I was easily irritated and was mad because I did not have the energy to do the things I wanted to do. I believe the toxins that buildup in the body can increase negative thinking patterns, making it harder to look on the bright side.

“By getting rid of parasites, you will decrease your toxic load, improve the functioning of your body defenses, insure better absorption of food, rid yourself of vague, annoying, and discomforting feelings, and lift your energy levels.” ~ Martha Volchok, AHG

“We are all exposed to thousands of toxins and chemicals on a daily basis at work, in the home, through the air we breathe, our food and water supply, and through the use of pharmaceutical drugs. In addition, we are eating more sugar and processed foods than ever before in human history and regularly abuse our bodies with various stimulants and sedatives.” ~ Heather Johnstone, Ph.D., R.N., A.P.N.

Are You The Latest Victim of The Body Snatchers? “They invade our bodies silently, hiding in the darkest recesses and draining our life from within. Once inside, they are in control. They live and breed inside us and can turn any organ in the body into their home. They eat us, change our DNA, rebuild our bodies to suit themselves and even alter our behaviour. It sounds like science fiction, but it is not. They are parasites, the most successful species on the planet. And we are their prey. Parasites kill one human every 10 seconds. Others keep us alive, for food and shelter.” ~ ABC Television - Body Snatchers

Research has found that most of our ailments may stem from an unhealthy colon! Food waste can stay in your body for years and poison your entire system. How would you feel if long disgusting pieces of old toxin-filled fecal matter were clinging to the inside of your colon walls for months or even years? People, obesity is winning and we need to fight back! Are you ready to learn the weight loss secrets of this great lady doctor?

DeWayne H. Strickland is a researcher in the areas of alternative therapies. Find out how herbs can help you lose weight fast at: http://www.herbal-remedy-online.net/weight-loss.html

Why didn’t I think of that? How many times have we all asked that question? When it comes to humor, funny things happen to us all the time. I think the reason why more people don’t have more humor in their lives, is because they don’t CAPTURE the incident when it happened! They’re always too busy with something else! I can’t blame people for that, as we live in a fast-paced society, and forgetting things is common. And, if you have a memory like mine (forget it), you will never, remember the incident the way it happened!

I wrote this article, because I want to show the reader how there is humor all over the place…IF you just look for it!

AROUND THE HOME: Sometimes humor knocks on the front door!

A few years ago, I was sick as a dog with a bad cold and flu…and, I was in bed for about a week! The chest congestion I had, was so deep that I lost my voice to a whisper! Coughing all the time, made things worse! The agony lasted for about two weeks.

One day, the doorbell rang, and with nobody around to answer the door, I got up and answered it. There was a young man standing there who was about fourteen years of age and he said:

Newspaper boy: “I’m collecting for the morning newspaper, sir.”

And, in a WHISPERING voice I asked, “How much is it?”

In his own WHISPERING voice, the paper boy responded, “$7.50.”

At which time I responded in a WHISPERING voice, “Oh, you don’t have to WHISPER, young man, I have a terrible cold and the flu, and I lost my voice!”

Again, the young man responded in a WHISPERING voice, “Whether I WHISPER or not, sir, the bill is still $7.50!”

Here are two people WHISPERING at the front door, as if we were in a library. During this short exchange with the paper boy, the more I laughed at what was happening, the more painful it was!

IN THE WORK PLACE:

I knew a man and wife, named Kathy and Rick Nelson, who worked at the same company where I worked. They had a baby, and were having trouble coming up with a name that they could both agree on. This tug-of-war between them went on for weeks, and they still couldn’t come up with a name for their baby. So, they decided to put a notice up on the blackboard in the break room at work, and to ask fellow-employees for any suggestions they may have for their baby. The following
suggestions appeared for the Nelson’s baby:

Baby Face Nelson

Full Nelson (wrestling term)

Half-Nelson (wrestling term)

OUT IN THE STREETS AND AROUND TOWN:

Something that really annoys me, is when I go into a store, through the IN door…there is somebody coming the other way and comes OUT through the IN door! And, when I finish taking care of my business in the store, I proceed OUT the OUT door…only to have somebody come IN the OUT door! I’ve never been a conformist, so maybe I should change my ways. Next time I go to the store, I should do what everybody else does! Go IN the OUT door and come OUT the IN door!
(People who do this, have what I call, that “ice cream truck mentality,” ding-a-ling…ding-a-ling!)

* * *
I love this one. One day, I was craving for an ice cream cone, so I went into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one. The young man behind the counter asked me, “Sir, do you want the ice cream cone for HERE…or do you want it to GO?” (Please…Somebody hold me back, before I jump on this kid!)

* * *

Most of us have a craving for something at some time or another…Mexican food, pickles; donuts and so forth. One day, I was craving green seedless grapes, and I had to have some NOW, or I was going to go crazy! So, I went to the grocery store and got the grapes. When I went to pay for the grapes, I thought I would have a little fun with the grocery clerk.

The Express line sign reads: “20 items or less.” There was nobody around in the express line, so I headed over there to check out, and I asked the clerk, “I have about 248 grapes here, and I’m over the limit, so can you check me out, since there are lines over at the other registers? The clerk looked at me like I needed help! “Yes, I can check you out here, because you only have ONE bundle of grapes…not 248 individual grapes…yes, you do have 248 grapes, sir…but, they are all in one bundle…am I confusing you…or am I confusing ME?” The clerk smiled at the stupidity of it all, but I didn’t get the laugh I thought I would get! So, when a person does spontaneous humor (like I do),
you never know what you’re going to get. In this case, I didn’t get the laugh I wanted, but maybe that’s was just “sour grapes” on my part! (pun intended)

* * *

All of us have our favorite singers…male and female and I have mine. Because this information is much more important than anything that comes out of Washington, D.D., or around the world, I’ll share it with you.

My favorite male singers: Kenny Rogers; Gordon Lightfoot; Tony Bennett

My favorite female singers: Ann Murry; Olivia Newton-John; Alice Cooper

* * *
Because there are no cabinets in the way, my microwave oven sits on top of the refrigerator. One night after dinner, I was craving for a bowl of ice cream. After I put a couple of scoops in a bowl, I put the ice cream away. The next morning, I got up as usual and prepared for my day. I needed to heat up the breakfast I prepared, so I was going to put it in the microwave…and guess what I saw?

I made a mistake and put the half-gallon of chocolate ice cream in the microwave, instead of the freezer just below the microwave…and now I had to clean up a chocolate mess! (Where were you when the brains were handed out, Jer?)

* * *

DECISIONS; DECISIONS: I’m getting tired of making so many decisions during my lifetime! Especially petty decisions, which really irritate me! It seems like everywhere I go, I have to make a decision…and it’s getting old!

* I go into a department store to buy a shirt, and go up to the counter to pay for it, and the clerk asks me, “Sir, will this be cash…or charge?” (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* I go to the pizza joint, and order a pizza and the clerk asks me, “Sir, do you want thick and chewy or thin and crispy?” (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* I go to the ice cream store to get some ice cream, and the clerk asks me, “Sir, do you want a cup or a cone?” (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* I go into the grocery store to pick up a few items, and I pay for them and the bag person asks me, “Sir, do you want plastic or paper?” (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* * *
I’ve been a football fan most of my life and I like to watch a game on occasion. When my wife and I were dating, I asked her if she liked football and if she knew anything about the game. Her answer, “Sure, I know a lot about football.” I was a little skeptical, so I gave her a little quiz, and asked her what’s a “first down”? Her answer, “A first down is when the first player gets knocked down!” (somebody get me some aspirin!)

* * *
Because my computer blew up, I was going to a local community college located near-by to use their computers, until I could replace mine. The computer lab has about 65-70 computers for students and public use. One day, a woman came into the lab, and searched all around the lab to see if there was a computer available. That day, it was a packed house and no computers were available. She asked me what she could do…maybe, get on a waiting list, etc. In my warped and off-the-wall mind, I told her, “Why don’t you just yell out… F-I-R-E!” (I couldn’t believe she looked at me weird!)

* * *

I think the key to getting good, usable ideas is to try to remember them. Whether the ideas are for humor or anything else. I advise people to carry a small spiral notebook, with them at all times, to capture those ideas. Maybe, a Blackberry will help; a strawberry; a cranberry…whatever you want to harvest…is fine with me!

I have a big advantage over others, when it comes to humor, because I’ve been in it for over forty years, so it’s been a long learning period for me. But, everyone has to start someplace, so if you’re interested in getting more humor into your life, I encourage you to do so. Good luck!

ARTICLES PUBLISHED; (70+ websites/includes links); Direct link: http://humordoctormd.homestead.com/articlespublished.html Website name; humordoctormd - Over 150 colorful pages; over 300 graphics http://humordoctormd.homestead.com email; humordoctormd@yahoo.com Copyright; Jerry L. Aragon (The Humor Doctor); 2006

There used to be a time in history when the only celebrity that anyone knew about was the leader of their country. Enter the age of television and the talkies and that changed as the world stepped up their view on what was hot or not! Fast forward half a century and celebrities have been born out of actors, musicians, sports figures and even other celebrities. However, one thing has not changed throughout history - we still love hearing that so and so broke up. This Top 10 features the celebrities that we’ve out and out cheered about when they broke up. The breakup has given the common man or woman the hope that he or she might one day be more than just an avid admirer from a distance.

10. Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel

She was his “Uptown Girl” and he was her Rockin’ musician husband. Married in 1985, Billy Joel was at the height of his career and his personal life when married to his supermodel wife Christie Brinkley. For a time she served as his muse with many songs supposedly inspired by her beauty. Alas it was not meant to be. Their marriage ended in 1994 when she was still 40 and smoking hot, while arguably his career was turning cold. Since then Christie has married twice more, while Billy was on the market for about 10 years before getting hitched to former “Top Chef” hostess Katie Lee.

9. Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin

Like Christie and Billy, Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin were both in their younger prime and at the top of their careers when married. Both were the object of desire for men and women the world over - him with a smoldering manly machismo and her with her sultry leggy blonde looks. Unfortunately their marriage of nine years from 1993-2002 ended in an ugly court battle that occasionally resurfaces today. Kim continues to work in spurts despite agoraphobia while Alec has been steadily working since the split and is enjoying resurgence in his career on NBC’s “30 Rock.” Unlike Christie and Billy, both Kim and Alec are still footloose and fancy free - though the ongoing publicity concerning their divorce might cause a little friction between any possible suitors.

8. Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise

Long before the couch jumping tirades tarnished his image, Tom Cruise had a respectable life and career along with his wife Nicole Kidman and their two adopted children. Tom was an established star when he met Nicole on the set of “Days of Thunder.” And all remained quiet on the storm front from 1990-2001 until they split, which was supposedly a shock to Nicole. After the divorce, Nicole’s star continued to rise above the cumulus nimbus in such blockbusters as “Moulin Rouge!”, “The Hours” and “Cold Mountain.” Meanwhile Tom’s career was briefly hot before scandals started cropping up over his devout belief in Scientology. In the ensuing years, Tom would face more troubles personally and in his career before finding his next true love Katie Holmes and having a daughter. As for Nicole, she also found another true love in Keith Urban and is also expecting a bambino on the way.

7. Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora (and Tommy Lee)

In the second case of musician meets model, then marries model, then screws it up, we have Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora. However, before the genetically gifted actress/model married the Bon Jovi guitar grinder, she was married for seven years to Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee. Like the marriage to Tommy, Heather and Richie only tonsel tangled for seven years before they divorced last year. Richie continues to tour and date hot women including Denise Richards while Heather has supposedly moved on as well. And if you’re into models or rockers, all three are still on the market.

6. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck (and P-Diddy)

At some point in the 1990s, an “In Living Color” girl became the It girl known for her pipes, acting career and the one attribute that no one could deny - her derriere. And like a magnet, Jennifer Lopez attracted many suitors including Ben Affleck and Sean “P-Diddy” Combs. Though she didn’t tie the knot with either of the would-be better halves, her relationship with the two made headlines world round mainly due to her often skimpy outfits while playing arm candy. Case in point - Bennifer in action for her music video “Jenny from the Block.” However, she was just as skimpy for “Puff Daddy,” as the multiple monikered mogul was then known, when they appeared arm-in-arm at the 2001 Grammys, where she revealed many of her assets in a see-through green gown. Since his first Bennifer years, Ben has moved onto another Jennifer - Jennifer Garner, his co-star in the flop “Daredevil.” And after a string of failed relationships and one failed marriage, Jennifer has settled down with fellow Latino crooner Marc Anthony with whom she now has fraternal twins. Once both low-end A-Listers, they seem to have fallen from the media’s good graces and can be seen irregularly trying to restart their careers.

5. Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke (and Gary Oldman)

Perhaps Quentin Tarantino’s epic two-part story “Kill Bill” should have been called “Kill Ethan” for the idiocy that Ethan Hawke displayed whilst still married to uber-svelte Uma Thurman. However before she soared with the Hawke, she was married to notable thespian Gary Oldman for two years in the early 90s. Unfortunately, their careers and lives supposedly didn’t jive so they separated. In a surprising turn, Uma married another notable up and coming thespian eight years later though Ethan was supposedly not satisfied with Uma during their marriage from 1998-2004 and decided to delve into others’ waters. Learning of his transgressions, she moved on with dignity and has continued her career and life with her characteristic combination of beauty and brilliance. It was recently announced that Uma is once again off the market with a new engagement announcement. Meanwhile it seems the Hawke has some new wings of his own with the announcement earlier this year that the stork will be once again visiting his nest.

4. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz (and Brittany Spears)

Women across the world love the idea of this young man crooning to them, shaking his hips and beat-boxing his way into their hearts. No, we’re not talking about Elvis; we’re talking about Justin Timberlake, the once Mickey Mouse clubber turned teen heartthrob turned sex symbol. There are a few women that would like to see him Bringing Sexy Back including former flames Cameron Diaz and Brittany Spears. While Brittany has yet to regain the foothold back to a respectable career, Cameron Diaz is a hottie in her own and has done justice to her career since her split with JT. Alas, it seems she is also off the market since she’s dating model Paul Sculfor. As for the chart topping object of women’s desire, he went from hot to hotter dating Scarlett Johansen and now is reportedly wooing Jessica Biel.

3. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe

In another case of loins overcoming brains, Ryan Phillippe was the excuse that Reese Witherspoon needed to end her marriage - to him! After seven years of marriage and citing “irreconcilable differences” amidst rumors of extramarital hanky-panky, the blond bombshells split. Arguably, Reese has had a better career in their marriage and after while every once in a while a picture will pop up with the oft-forgettable Ryan in the lead. However, Reese seems to have moved on to Hollywood’s next best thing - Jake Gyllenhaal. As for Ryan, he’s off the market, too, dating Australian actress Abbie Cornish.

2. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

For five glorious years from 2000-2005, Jennifer Aniston was married to who-is-known as one of the hottest men alive, Brad Pitt. And she’s no troll living under the Hollywood sign either! However, their wedded bliss was not meant to be; the It couple of the 2000s would soon be replaced with Brad in the saddle again with Angelina Jolie (see No. 1). As Brad’s star has continued to rise personally and professionally, it seems that Jennifer can only continue to rise as well since she’s latched onto rising star musician John Mayer.
1. Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton

While Angelina Jolie is arguably one of the hottest women on the planet, her choice in companions has seemed rather eclectic. So when she married Billy Bob Thornton in 2000, the media and general population were left wondering what the heck happened. And three years later, they were then cheering as they separated due to “changing overnight.” Most men wish they could have been the reason Angelina changed, but within a few years she had latched onto our No. 2 man, Brad Pitt. Since then they have expanded her brood adding more kids through adoption and the natural method. Meanwhile, neither Angelina nor Billy Bob’s career has been hurting since the breakup. But Billy Bob still remains an eligible bachelor, though he has told numerous journalists that Angelina was the last time he was walking into a court with a marriage license!

This list is provided by TopTenz.net, a creative and unusual top 10 lists site with lists ranging from comic book villains to cheap wine to playboy playmates placement of this article.

These days, speaking with most Democrats is like being “Alice, In Wonderland”. Most of them seem to be going under the old saying “Don’t Confuse Me With The Facts”, it seems that many of their statements are based on emotions instead of reality. I used to enjoy discussing politics, especially with people that disagreed with me (I felt that I might learn something new or different.). I still do, but lately I have found that, while I still enjoy discussing politics with Independents and Republicans, I no longer enjoy discussing politics with most Democrats. They almost all say the same things and they sound as if they are reading from a script.

Numerous Democrats that I have spoken with have stated, to paraphrase, “I don’t like Bush (They never say President Bush), he’s a thief and a liar and he is owned by the oil companies. He only cares about the rich. Nothing he says or does can be any good. Additionally, he is not smart enough to be President.”. The words they actually use are much worse, I just don’t wish to repeat them here.

The first thing that they all say is “Bush and his cronies stole the presidency from Vice-President Gore (They say President or Vice-President when speaking about President Clinton or Vice-President Gore.) in 2000.”. They say “Bush lied about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction.”. They say “Bush has ruined our economy”. They say “Bush was too slow in handling the Katrina disaster because he is prejudiced against blacks.” They say, “Bush has turned the world against us.”. Some are now even saying, “Bush knew that 9/11 was going to happen and did nothing to stop it so he would have an excuse for invading Iraq.”. When I ask them how they know these things they quote David Letterman, Jay Leno, Susan Sarandon, Alec Baldwin, Edward Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Howard Dean, Barbara Streisand and numerous other far left politicians, celebrities and newscasters.

I attempt to discover all sides of the issues so I watch NBC News, Fox News and CNN, I read the Los Angeles Times, the Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, Forbes and other magazines and newspapers. When I ask my Democrat acquaintances if they watch Fox News, they all say “No, it’s too right wing.”. When I ask if they read the Wall Street Journal, Most say “No, it’s too biased.”, and even the ones that do admit to reading the Journal say, “I only read the financial pages.”. When I ask if they read or watch any conservative media at all, they say “No, all that you find in the conservative media are lies and cover ups.”.

When I try to counter some of their anti Bush statements with facts, they usually become upset and say “I don’t want to hear your facts, they are all lies spread by ‘big business’ and ‘right wing religious groups’, and even if they are true, I don’t care.”. “I don’t like Bush and that’s all that matters.”. When I ask them for proof of their allegations against President Bush, they usually either quote someone on the far left or say “Everyone knows it’s true.”. If I push them further they get upset and refuse to discuss the matter further. I have found that if you just listen to them and don’t disagree with them, they can talk forever about how bad President Bush and the Republican Party are. However, if you disagree with any part of anything they say, they will usually end the conversation immediately by changing the subject.

I don’t necessarily agree with, or even care for, everything that President Bush says or does, but the strident clamoring of the Democrats is forcing me to, more and more, side with him and the Republican Party. I am a Republican, but used to consider myself an Independent and voted my conscience rather than for a political party. Now, the blatant partisanship and lack of reason displayed by the Democratic Party has forced me to become an ardent Republican. The Republican Party, at least, still embraces some liberals and moderates. The Democratic Party appears to be trying to silence anyone who doesn’t agree with the far left.

David G. Hallstrom, Sr. is a retired private investigator and currently publishes several internet directories including http://www.resourcesforattorneys.com a legal and lifestyle resources directory for attorneys, lawyers and the internet public. For more lifestyle information see http://lifestyle.resourcesforattorneys.com, the Lifestyle directory from Resources For Attorneys.